There is a phenomena that continues to show up repeatedly in abusive adoptions. This is known as the Narcissistic Adoptive Mother or NAM, who adopts for self serving reasons and has no ability to empathize and lacks a conscience. These children are used to maintain a “happy family” image, but behind closed doors the fury is unleashed. Adoptive families are *supposed* to offer a “better life” for adoptees. This cannot happen when a selfish narcissist adopts pretending to be a selfless saint! We need more and better mental health professionals involved from beginning to end in the adoption screening process.
“The secretly mean mother does not want others to know that she is abusive to her children. She will have a public self and a private self, which are quite different. These mothers can be kind and loving in public but are abusive and cruel at home. The unpredictable, opposite messages to the child are crazy-making. True narcissism is a serious disorder that harms children. Narcissists are truly all about themselves and cannot show genuine empathy. They have a limited capacity for giving unconditional love to their children.”