This blogpost from Adoptee Restoration addresses the tremendous pressure, societal programming and isolation that adoptees grew up with as their only reality: “be grateful you were saved, and adoption is beautiful” is what society, family and friends told us to believe as adopted children in our families. Even as adults many adoptees find it hard to go against that belief system because there is a heavy price to pay or backlash from family and friends.
“In the past, adoptees were isolated in their realization of truth, surrounded only by other, perhaps otherwise-trustworthy adults all claiming things about adoption that we suspected in our hearts to not be true, or certainly not the complete truth, or even our own truth.
They all desperately wanted us to go along with their program, and many of us did try, to our own detriment. We may have doubted ourselves as there was no real adoption support network for us then. Some of us figured it would be easier to simply not make waves. We are still learning that waves are what make positive changes for other adoptees and for ourselves. Our lone voice, if we dared to speak up in the past, would be diluted or dismissed.
Then something happened – adult adoptees found each other and began to compare notes, bond, and support each other. We now know if we don’t speak out and help one another, nobody is going to do that for us. Things that should not continue on, would.”